(21/10/2015) Sem Break!

Life's getting exciting!

I've been singing for weddings with my partner.
I've been doing good in my major classes.
My first year in MMU as a degree student has just ended.
I've made it into Fresh Bottle performance team.
I've been recognized for my talent.
I just had my glasses changed.
I've been earning my own pocket money.
I've been handling group assignments pretty well.
I've been making new friends.
I've been trying out new experience like emcee-ing for events.
I had my first promoter job few days back and it went smoothly.
I've been complimented by my leader for my capability at work.
I've been building good names among my lecturers.

Only thing is that,

I've been losing weight.
I've been sleeping very little since the past months.
I've not been coming back to Seremban.
I've not been exercising.
I've not been drinking alot of water but coffee instead.
I've not been hanging out with my high school gang.
I've not been eating healthy.
I've not been taking good care of my face.
I've not been practicing my drawing.
I've not been managing my time well enough.
I've not been getting updates of the news.
I've not been resting.
I've not been reading.

Sem break has just started,

I'm going to do some covers as requested.
I'm going to practice what I've been learning in class.
I'm going to prepare for my sister's wedding.
I'm going to spend time with my family.
I'm going to catch up with old friends in Seremban.
I'm going to practice guitar fingering.
I'm going to update blog as much as I could.
I'm going to tidy up my desktop and manage my folders.
I'm going to avoid spending money.
I'm going to bake some cakes or pies.
I'm going to exercise.
I'm going to watch good movies that have been stored in my hard disk for ages.
I'm going to get myself ready for year 2.
I'm going to get closer to God.
I'm going to upgrade myself.
I'm going to broaden my knowledge in as many areas as I can.
I'm going to do some video editing.

I have 3 weeks break,

Time waits for no man.
Life is so packed with so many activities,
yet I am always reminded of God's grace and presence.
For whatever I do,
I know He is watching over me.
For everything that I achieved,
I give all glory to Him.

I know I will never get to complete my task-list for this time,
but I will make sure I'm a better person when the break ends.

Read More

(10/8/2015) 近况

好久没有发泄了。

最近心情特别沉重，担心的事情也随着时间有增无减。
已经来到第三个学期的Week7，再多7个星期，我就得告别First Year了。

上个星期是我两年以来最压力最伤肝的一个星期。原因是因为有两个Major assignment的submission，搞得我三天三夜才睡了少过10个小时，严重缺眠。除了课业还要担心表演的准备，加上感情出了少少问题，更让我精神不佳，变本加厉。少了倾诉对象，少了对我嘘寒问暖的人，我除了缺眠还要加上失眠的痛。当一切都在同一时间发生时，那种煎熬的程度，不是开玩笑的。

现在一切也告一段落，功课做得还满意，和他和好了，周末表演也圆满结束，蛮欣赏自己的坚强，熬着熬着就熬过来咯。 感谢主啦 (:

虽然这个星期少了一半的忧虑，可是感觉我还没完全恢复正常。睡眠还没调整，身体需要补一补，精神需要支柱。

好多事情都变了，当你习惯依赖一个人，突然他不再关心一切，你就得学会一个人面对。没有什么大不了的。
在乎的人不会就这样离开，不在乎的怎么强逼也只会弄巧反拙。
我以为我长大了，原来还是个小朋友，需要被呵护，需要有人疼爱。

多么的不安，多么不开心，也得自娱。
掉了多少眼泪，心闷了多久，最终也没说出口。

一个星期7天，其中5天在8位室友的吵嚷声中度过，确实得了不少欢乐。

至少那个时刻我能暂时放下包袱，开怀大笑，哪怕只有一小段的时间。

就这样，烦恼中穿插着他们带给我的轻松，一天一天的过去了。

无论如何，我会很常需要自己安静的时间，比如现在。

吵嚷声不可能被停下来，我也唯有戴上耳机，进入自己的世界，安静地呆在里头。

接下来会更忙碌。

常常提醒自己，追梦，却不忘了让祂带领。

我再怎么坚强，没有上帝的眷顾，一切都变得枉然。

必须放下的东西也该放下，看开。

做好自己的本分，其他就不要多管了，毕竟要管也管不着。

好吧，一起加油。
后会有期。

Read More

The power of prayer.

Many months ago when I was still serving as a children church teacher, I would always tell my kids how prayer always worked miraculously throughout my life. Until my faith faded.

I remember how I would encourage people to pray for the slightest matter in their daily lives because I used to believe that God doesn't only answer big and passionate prayers but also insignificant ones.

However I still lost it myself.

Recently as I'm working my best to come close once again to Him, I started seeing small things that God showed me. Little by little, day by day. One thing I'm sure, he still hears me all the time.

Here are some little testimonies I experienced:

1.

Few days ago I was preparing pasta for lunch. The carbonara sauce bottle cap was tighter than usual even my brother couldn't uncap it. We had about a good 20mins mini war with the bottle trying our utmost best but nothing worked. Till my bro said an instant quick yet firm prayer. The next thing I know, brother turned the bottle cover and 'BOP'. There he did it. We gazed at each other before we cheered for our victory.

2.

Yesterday I finally received a long-waited text. I passed my Fresh Bottle audition that I took part last month. Even though I went with a just-for-fun attitude, the text yesterday still got me screaming lol. First I received a text saying I passed as a guitarist. When I saw the text I was a little disappointed because that means my singing didn't pass. After about an hour I was still thinking about it and I indirectly expressed to God how I would prefer to have that platform to sing instead. Just as I was in the middle of my imagination, I received another text, and it was like one hour after the first text. It was the same message, just that the word 'guitarist' was replaced with 'vocalist'. I was excited as crap. I ain't joking. I really was.

If I were to tell this to everybody, many may think that it was just co-incidence. Maybe if we worked a little harder the bottle would still be opened. Maybe if I didn't pray at all the same text would come.


Regardless, I chose to believe that He heard me. Past, Now, and Then.

Read More

Ever Sincere

I have a small test tomorrow morning at 9am. I haven't started studying yet. Lol God knows where my confidence comes from haha.

 Just now after I took my shower, I came out of the bathroom like usual and started drying my hair. Strangely, I started talking to myself. Usually the voice remains in my head but this time, I just talked like I was talking to a person for real while it was empty in the room.

As creepy as it may sound, it led me to an ever sincere prayer to God. After so long.

With tears rolling in my eyes, with a brokenhearted, and a confused mind, I talked to God.

I'm sure He heard me. I'm sure He did. Aite back to my notes. Ciao. (:

Read More

Dilemma

Ohaiyo!

It's Labor Day and it's Friday. Sunday's Wesak, therefore Monday's a holiday. Tuesday has no class, so to conclude, I'm having a 5-day-rest HOOORAY!

However I'm facing a dilemma.

I'm soo excited to be home since I haven't been spending enough time with my family. Also like I said since I have a 5-day-rest, I thought i should start on some project to polish my skill before it rots. Yeah I can always do it at home while being there for my family BUT, my pc is in Cyber and everything I need for my project is all here AANND it's almost impossible for me to bring everything back home.

lol yeah.
I'm done ranting.
 I chose family over my skills.
I'm heading home later leaving all my gadgets here kthxbai.

Read More

Alone

Now that I'm always surrounded by people, I have to appreciate my alone time more.

I'm still adapting to this change, I almost never have time to myself anymore lol. Usually I would follow the gang to lunch after our morning class. Head home, get a power nap, and head back campus for afternoon class. Today's a lil different. I decided not to join them. Speaking of that, thou, they were kind enough to send me home instead of letting me walk. Joey is touched! ((:

Anyway point isn't so much on the meal, but the chance to be home alone.

Along my growing-up path, I've come to learn the importance of self-reflection. I used to be so ignorant that I care very little of what I have done in the past. Not anymore. I forgot when that I started to just choose to come quiet sometimes and think of the conversation that just happened, or think of my act 5 mins ago. Surprisingly I managed to act wiser when the same thing happened again.

I don't mean I'm all saint but that, is a very helpful way for myself to build better relationships with people around me.

Something unhappy happened last night. I was in a pretty bad mood. I went to sleep having it unsettled, and I had bad dreams. I woke up feeling unhappy, and even right now, I have not recovered.

Regardless whether it is settled or not, as I reflect on myself, I found that I have somehow gotten better at managing my emotion. Back then, I would be different. So yeah, I'm glad.

Never stop improving yourself, aite? (: ciao

Read More

Ex-Strangers

From strangers to course-mates.

From course-mates to housemates.

I have just moved in with 8 of them to a new apartment, reason was because the management of the previous apartment was a torture. Well I can't really say that cause I was one of them who refused to register for their resident card. *guilty* For some reason they blocked a few entrance and we had to walk one whole round to get to campus. Long story short, they gave us much nightmares. So did us.

However it may turn out, I moved here for a few reasons. I struggled for some time to make this decision because I was too used to being alone. I was known as the lone-ranger, well as how some of them may call me. I go to class alone, I leave class alone, I go home alone, I eat alone and etc. Of course when needed, I would socialize and that isn't a problem with me. I do things alone and I enjoy being that way. Hmm I wonder if people would label me as arrogant or ignorant or some anti-social freak. O.O please don't! I love making friends too ahah. 

This new apartment is super clean. It's my 3rd house that I shifted since I started my studies in MMU. The first house was with 7 MYOB housemates. So you can imagine, the house was quiet as hell (which is what I like) but dirty as hell too. I miss my 2 roommates thou. Second house was with 3 MYOB housemates. Loved that house cause it was quiet as hell and so much cleaner than the first. But heck I lost my precious camera there, plus I was only a temporary tenant so yeah, found my 3rd house here.  

Clean house makes me happier. This looks much like a HOUSE to me. With furniture, clean bathrooms, nice view and people I'm familiar with. It's my 3rd week living under one roof with them. I love this house. I love the people in this house. I can be myself here. I hope it lasts. 

(:

Read More