追梦？

Another beautiful morning I wake up to!
Le boyfriend never fails to make my day better with his morning call every time.

Good morning guys :)

This post was supposed to be way earlier, just that every time it's either the atmosphere that is not right or the timing. Also, I actually started this post with chinese BUT my brain and fingers didn't seem to cooperate very well. Lol

This post is mainly about my experience performing in MMU for the first time, with dear Fresh Bottle mates. Fresh Bottle has always been in my head since I entered Foundation. But because of my very heavy coursework, I didn't manage to join their events until now (2nd Year of degree already!).

Half a year ago, just one fine day, I met a friend at Central Plaza. She approached me and somehow led me to their booth. To cut the story short, I signed myself up for their audition, not knowing what it was for and when it would be. Went for the audition, passed as guitarist and vocalist, and with a few practices, there I was, performing on stage with a group of passionate musicians and awesome vocalists.

And I shall now let the photos do the rest of the talking :)

11th Fresh Bottle Recital "Platform 11" 第十一届沁瓶子歌曲发表会《十一站》

25th November 2015 (Wednesday)

Multipurpose Hall, MMU, Cyberjaya

Part of the performers.

主题曲：人生那车站

词曲：许芯慈，王珉倩

歌名：卒

词曲：Alda-Ray

歌名：半首

词曲：Kido Lee, Ah Ying

坊歌：好瓶如潮

词曲：罗浩庭，徐子斌

I was involved in 4 out of 12 songs. What makes me really excited was the bunch of new friends that I met. From knowing nobody when I first joined, now I have a group of music buddies where we share our passion together every now and then. Also, I was so delighted to have met Colbie Ong in person. She's a local artist now, also our very senior of Fresh Bottle in MMU. She was the one that motivated me to join Fresh Bottle when I first heard her sing 2 years ago. RAWR I went all fan-girl-ish over her when I requested to take photo with her. Urgh regretted that so much later. 

Heh. 

Colbie Ong 王思涵

Another inspiration.

Ah Ying, young and talented.

So much to learn from her! :)

Lastly this dear girl Li Ping.

Everybody (well most) says we look alike from the photos.

Even our boyfriends HAHA.

Except she's taller and has way nicer teeth. :D

Bleh.

Nice to know you!

Fresh Bottle is one of the platform I have to express my passion to music. I would have submitted my originals if I knew they opened the floor for submission. Nevertheless, I enjoyed myself so much throughout the event. 

Deep down, I know that Fresh Bottle is gonna be something I will bring with me even after I leave MMU when I graduate.

This opportunity given is well appreciated.
Till next time! heeeees

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(18/11/2015) 2nd year already ._.

Guess how time never fails to wake me from my sleep?

I'm already in my year 2 now.

I really wish I had the time to store my memories here in this blog each time a semester ends. Funny how I always seem like the only one appreciating the moments most of the time. I'm tired of hearing question like 'why do you have to capture this?' Why? because I know when I look back at that particular picture a few years later it would mean so much to me :) Hehe.

I'm glad that me and my housemates are getting along pretty well. It's about 8 months living under the same roof with them, even after a month of break, everything still resumes the way it was. Housemates, Roommates, Coursemates, Groupmates, God always gives us perfect arrangement!

My result for my the previous semester (1st year 3rd sem) was out a week ago. I'm quite satisfied, considering both my major got A+ and A-, and the rest of the subjects with 2 As and 2 miserable Bs. Little bit more to reach First Class Honor, that means I must jiayou this sem liao!

Speaking of that, rumor says that there will be no more exemption of repayment for ptptn even if we graduated as FCH. I've checked various sources and they all said otherwise. Regardless, Imma score as good as I can, even thou the cancellation of exemption will only demotivate me.

Last semester was hell to me, but I kind of enjoyed being in it. Or maybe I should just say it was a tough test in Heaven. :p I lost count on those sleepless nights and days with only 1 - 2 meals. Oh and not forgetting the maggiss I consumed. I feel sad for my body :( People have been telling me that I've lost weight and looked more 憔悴 and what not.

Well now I'm still in my first week of semester, I'm trying my utmost best to sleep enough, eat enough and exercise enough. Yes before the hard times come. I want to gain weight as badly as you want to pet a kitty (HAHA). But I'm serious, more than ever.

Right now I'm trying to get myself exposed to as much of things as I can, at the same time I can't help it to realize how tiny and limited I am. Thanks to the boyfriend for always pouring information to me. He may not be always right but his eagerness to learn always motivates me. Without him I would have nobody else to always push me forward. (why does this sound like a dedication post suddenly lol) Well thou sometimes I really feel like punching him in the face haha but he really is treasure to me.

Kay gotta run. Class soon. It's AFX3 later.

Till next time! :)

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(21/10/2015) Sem Break!

Life's getting exciting!

I've been singing for weddings with my partner.
I've been doing good in my major classes.
My first year in MMU as a degree student has just ended.
I've made it into Fresh Bottle performance team.
I've been recognized for my talent.
I just had my glasses changed.
I've been earning my own pocket money.
I've been handling group assignments pretty well.
I've been making new friends.
I've been trying out new experience like emcee-ing for events.
I had my first promoter job few days back and it went smoothly.
I've been complimented by my leader for my capability at work.
I've been building good names among my lecturers.

Only thing is that,

I've been losing weight.
I've been sleeping very little since the past months.
I've not been coming back to Seremban.
I've not been exercising.
I've not been drinking alot of water but coffee instead.
I've not been hanging out with my high school gang.
I've not been eating healthy.
I've not been taking good care of my face.
I've not been practicing my drawing.
I've not been managing my time well enough.
I've not been getting updates of the news.
I've not been resting.
I've not been reading.

Sem break has just started,

I'm going to do some covers as requested.
I'm going to practice what I've been learning in class.
I'm going to prepare for my sister's wedding.
I'm going to spend time with my family.
I'm going to catch up with old friends in Seremban.
I'm going to practice guitar fingering.
I'm going to update blog as much as I could.
I'm going to tidy up my desktop and manage my folders.
I'm going to avoid spending money.
I'm going to bake some cakes or pies.
I'm going to exercise.
I'm going to watch good movies that have been stored in my hard disk for ages.
I'm going to get myself ready for year 2.
I'm going to get closer to God.
I'm going to upgrade myself.
I'm going to broaden my knowledge in as many areas as I can.
I'm going to do some video editing.

I have 3 weeks break,

Time waits for no man.
Life is so packed with so many activities,
yet I am always reminded of God's grace and presence.
For whatever I do,
I know He is watching over me.
For everything that I achieved,
I give all glory to Him.

I know I will never get to complete my task-list for this time,
but I will make sure I'm a better person when the break ends.

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(10/8/2015) 近况

好久没有发泄了。

最近心情特别沉重，担心的事情也随着时间有增无减。
已经来到第三个学期的Week7，再多7个星期，我就得告别First Year了。

上个星期是我两年以来最压力最伤肝的一个星期。原因是因为有两个Major assignment的submission，搞得我三天三夜才睡了少过10个小时，严重缺眠。除了课业还要担心表演的准备，加上感情出了少少问题，更让我精神不佳，变本加厉。少了倾诉对象，少了对我嘘寒问暖的人，我除了缺眠还要加上失眠的痛。当一切都在同一时间发生时，那种煎熬的程度，不是开玩笑的。

现在一切也告一段落，功课做得还满意，和他和好了，周末表演也圆满结束，蛮欣赏自己的坚强，熬着熬着就熬过来咯。 感谢主啦 (:

虽然这个星期少了一半的忧虑，可是感觉我还没完全恢复正常。睡眠还没调整，身体需要补一补，精神需要支柱。

好多事情都变了，当你习惯依赖一个人，突然他不再关心一切，你就得学会一个人面对。没有什么大不了的。
在乎的人不会就这样离开，不在乎的怎么强逼也只会弄巧反拙。
我以为我长大了，原来还是个小朋友，需要被呵护，需要有人疼爱。

多么的不安，多么不开心，也得自娱。
掉了多少眼泪，心闷了多久，最终也没说出口。

一个星期7天，其中5天在8位室友的吵嚷声中度过，确实得了不少欢乐。

至少那个时刻我能暂时放下包袱，开怀大笑，哪怕只有一小段的时间。

就这样，烦恼中穿插着他们带给我的轻松，一天一天的过去了。

无论如何，我会很常需要自己安静的时间，比如现在。

吵嚷声不可能被停下来，我也唯有戴上耳机，进入自己的世界，安静地呆在里头。

接下来会更忙碌。

常常提醒自己，追梦，却不忘了让祂带领。

我再怎么坚强，没有上帝的眷顾，一切都变得枉然。

必须放下的东西也该放下，看开。

做好自己的本分，其他就不要多管了，毕竟要管也管不着。

好吧，一起加油。
后会有期。

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The power of prayer.

Many months ago when I was still serving as a children church teacher, I would always tell my kids how prayer always worked miraculously throughout my life. Until my faith faded.

I remember how I would encourage people to pray for the slightest matter in their daily lives because I used to believe that God doesn't only answer big and passionate prayers but also insignificant ones.

However I still lost it myself.

Recently as I'm working my best to come close once again to Him, I started seeing small things that God showed me. Little by little, day by day. One thing I'm sure, he still hears me all the time.

Here are some little testimonies I experienced:

1.

Few days ago I was preparing pasta for lunch. The carbonara sauce bottle cap was tighter than usual even my brother couldn't uncap it. We had about a good 20mins mini war with the bottle trying our utmost best but nothing worked. Till my bro said an instant quick yet firm prayer. The next thing I know, brother turned the bottle cover and 'BOP'. There he did it. We gazed at each other before we cheered for our victory.

2.

Yesterday I finally received a long-waited text. I passed my Fresh Bottle audition that I took part last month. Even though I went with a just-for-fun attitude, the text yesterday still got me screaming lol. First I received a text saying I passed as a guitarist. When I saw the text I was a little disappointed because that means my singing didn't pass. After about an hour I was still thinking about it and I indirectly expressed to God how I would prefer to have that platform to sing instead. Just as I was in the middle of my imagination, I received another text, and it was like one hour after the first text. It was the same message, just that the word 'guitarist' was replaced with 'vocalist'. I was excited as crap. I ain't joking. I really was.

If I were to tell this to everybody, many may think that it was just co-incidence. Maybe if we worked a little harder the bottle would still be opened. Maybe if I didn't pray at all the same text would come.


Regardless, I chose to believe that He heard me. Past, Now, and Then.

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Ever Sincere

I have a small test tomorrow morning at 9am. I haven't started studying yet. Lol God knows where my confidence comes from haha.

 Just now after I took my shower, I came out of the bathroom like usual and started drying my hair. Strangely, I started talking to myself. Usually the voice remains in my head but this time, I just talked like I was talking to a person for real while it was empty in the room.

As creepy as it may sound, it led me to an ever sincere prayer to God. After so long.

With tears rolling in my eyes, with a brokenhearted, and a confused mind, I talked to God.

I'm sure He heard me. I'm sure He did. Aite back to my notes. Ciao. (:

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Dilemma

Ohaiyo!

It's Labor Day and it's Friday. Sunday's Wesak, therefore Monday's a holiday. Tuesday has no class, so to conclude, I'm having a 5-day-rest HOOORAY!

However I'm facing a dilemma.

I'm soo excited to be home since I haven't been spending enough time with my family. Also like I said since I have a 5-day-rest, I thought i should start on some project to polish my skill before it rots. Yeah I can always do it at home while being there for my family BUT, my pc is in Cyber and everything I need for my project is all here AANND it's almost impossible for me to bring everything back home.

lol yeah.
I'm done ranting.
 I chose family over my skills.
I'm heading home later leaving all my gadgets here kthxbai.

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Alone

Now that I'm always surrounded by people, I have to appreciate my alone time more.

I'm still adapting to this change, I almost never have time to myself anymore lol. Usually I would follow the gang to lunch after our morning class. Head home, get a power nap, and head back campus for afternoon class. Today's a lil different. I decided not to join them. Speaking of that, thou, they were kind enough to send me home instead of letting me walk. Joey is touched! ((:

Anyway point isn't so much on the meal, but the chance to be home alone.

Along my growing-up path, I've come to learn the importance of self-reflection. I used to be so ignorant that I care very little of what I have done in the past. Not anymore. I forgot when that I started to just choose to come quiet sometimes and think of the conversation that just happened, or think of my act 5 mins ago. Surprisingly I managed to act wiser when the same thing happened again.

I don't mean I'm all saint but that, is a very helpful way for myself to build better relationships with people around me.

Something unhappy happened last night. I was in a pretty bad mood. I went to sleep having it unsettled, and I had bad dreams. I woke up feeling unhappy, and even right now, I have not recovered.

Regardless whether it is settled or not, as I reflect on myself, I found that I have somehow gotten better at managing my emotion. Back then, I would be different. So yeah, I'm glad.

Never stop improving yourself, aite? (: ciao

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Ex-Strangers

From strangers to course-mates.

From course-mates to housemates.

I have just moved in with 8 of them to a new apartment, reason was because the management of the previous apartment was a torture. Well I can't really say that cause I was one of them who refused to register for their resident card. *guilty* For some reason they blocked a few entrance and we had to walk one whole round to get to campus. Long story short, they gave us much nightmares. So did us.

However it may turn out, I moved here for a few reasons. I struggled for some time to make this decision because I was too used to being alone. I was known as the lone-ranger, well as how some of them may call me. I go to class alone, I leave class alone, I go home alone, I eat alone and etc. Of course when needed, I would socialize and that isn't a problem with me. I do things alone and I enjoy being that way. Hmm I wonder if people would label me as arrogant or ignorant or some anti-social freak. O.O please don't! I love making friends too ahah. 

This new apartment is super clean. It's my 3rd house that I shifted since I started my studies in MMU. The first house was with 7 MYOB housemates. So you can imagine, the house was quiet as hell (which is what I like) but dirty as hell too. I miss my 2 roommates thou. Second house was with 3 MYOB housemates. Loved that house cause it was quiet as hell and so much cleaner than the first. But heck I lost my precious camera there, plus I was only a temporary tenant so yeah, found my 3rd house here.  

Clean house makes me happier. This looks much like a HOUSE to me. With furniture, clean bathrooms, nice view and people I'm familiar with. It's my 3rd week living under one roof with them. I love this house. I love the people in this house. I can be myself here. I hope it lasts. 

(:

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Lovehate to Caffeine

First up, to all the coffee lovers out there, lemme stir your senses with this.

Grrrr don't they look tempting??

I used to have phobia to the smell of coffee when I was little. I gave the same twist on my face when I sniff alcohol back then. Who would have guessed that later it became the love of my life?

When it comes to coffee, I put myself in dilemma most of the times. Here's why.

Caffeine. Whoever that invented it was a genius nyahah. As we grow older our taste buds change, and that only happened recently when I started to surprisingly crave for coffee. I used to tell my mom that I will never get addicted to coffee, other than it's effect, nothing of it really attracts me. 

That brings me to my next point. Coffee has an ability to boost your (at least my) energy. Since nobody has ever explained to me why, I treated it like a magical beverage that helps me stay up for revision back in high school. Until later I found out it was the caffeine's effect. Dumbdumb. As many of your have already known, caffeine is a stimulant to our central nervous system, it has already become a need to me ever since. Well more like a must. It makes me forget my worries, it gives me energy, it is like my drug.

Caffeine seems to be a reason for me to be happy in a day. It has slowly became my routine in the morning. Since a week ago, I woke up every morning with the urge to brew coffee, I guess that signals me my addiction. 

Studies have shown that coffee helps improve our health. However, there are still researchers that say otherwise. Regardless, coffee, is, my, thing. I'm kinda thankful that caffeine actually works for me. Because as much as I see it as a magical beverage, there are still plenty of people around me that say coffee makes them sleep better. It has the ability to stimulate us by blocking the neuroreceptors for the sleep chemical adenosine. Which also means, each time you partake the magical beverage for the day, it instantly creates a competition between caffeine and adenosine. Well obviously caffeine would win. 

The sad part is, caffeine has side effects. Despite its magical effects, coffee can give you pretty ugly teeth. Just like soda, too much of them will stain your teeth and make them yellowish. Well of course that happens only if you drink TOO much. I guess a cup a day wouldn't be too much ayee? :3 Oh but I have a solution thou. 

Because I'm siding caffeine over adenosine, you would probably see more advantages in my post. Truth is, coffee harms more than it helps. Other than the 6 hours of wow-im-so-energized-and-positive moment, I would still let adenosine take over for the rest of the day. So yeah, I'm cutting down on coffee. I need to overcome my addiction. Till then, no more coffee for the following week. #feelingdrugaddict

Behind every successful assignment, there is a cup of coffee. 

no please go away

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Self-esteem

The thing is, I never really know me myself.

Yes I have very low self esteem. At times I thought I have overcome it but when criticism comes, I indulge in self-pity again. Reason? Because I don't understand myself. O.O Have you ever come across situations where you are sooo down at one point you hated yourself so much you wish you were somebody else? I have, countless of times ahaha. One of the biggest downfall of me is that I follow too much of what people say. In short I just care too much of being the girl people wants me to be, rather than just being myself.

After 21 years of living? I only realized it now that there are 7 billions of different minds in this world. I mean yeah don't state the obvious but I seemed to be too oblivious about it. Your society affects who you are. So don't be such a baby when criticism hits. On the contrary, compliments should not make one stop improving. I'm telling myself that every now and then, I guess everyone should too.

I once read an article that says self-esteem of a person could be different depending on the situations. You may be the boss at school and a mice at home. I hardly trust my own judgement, because it seems that my comments are most of the time ignored or useless. Does that make me stop giving comments? Yes, but it shouldn't be that way.

To excel, first you have to accept yourself as you are. I could be a hipster and a philanthropist. I could be a dropout and a singer. I could be a scorer and a drug addict. It may sound cliche but Never Ever judge a book by its cover.

In my 21 years of living I have tried various ways overcoming my low self-esteem. I started off believing in myself. But then I overestimated myself and one time when I failed it was as if I fell from Mt. Kinabalu into the bottom of the sea lol. And then I started putting myself very low. I thought I was humble but heck I was in self-destructing mode.

After struggling for years I have finally come to solution. Accept myself as I am. I know what you're thinking, I AM that dumb. rawr.

Beauty comes after Confidence. Criticism may be harsh but I'm learning to take them as a stepping stone. Especially when criticism comes from people closest to you, you may think that they are not being supportive but remember, there are 7 billions of brains in the world. I always wonder how God plan the communities, because to me one of the hardest thing is to tolerate and live with people of different brains as yours. Think of your best friend, think of your significant other, what makes you two so close? Don't tell me you both have the same mindsets because no matter how similar you both think, there will still be differences that you have no choice but to accept and tolerate. Again because there are 7 billions of people in the world, there will never be a second you. Each time I tell myself that I feel like dancing WHEEHEE :D  So what I was trying to say is that, be who you are and NEVER try to imitate others. Of course there are exceptions.

Accepting criticisms with an open heart does not mean you absorb them. Instead, analyse with your God-given wisdom and improve if you should. Back then I would run to a corner and draw tons of circles but no, now I'm learning to face it and, BACKFIRE AHAHAHA joking.

Accepting my own weaknesses isn't like a piece of cake. Because the more I try to understand myself it is true that I see more weaknesses in myself, which back then I would not admit. First step to success is to know your mistakes. Be a maximizer not a coward. Improvement should be made and if you reach your limit then that is your limit. Accept it and move on in life.

I want to be beautiful, therefore I will accept myself.
And since I like it so much, kudos to the 7 billions of human brains on earth. Ciao! (:

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I'm back blogging yey (:

The thought of creating a new blog has been swirling in my mind for quite a long time now. Well since I have more time now I thought I would.

Lol my time management is still bad, struggling since years back and still struggling, ahah. I'm pretty bad with consistency(too), therefore I hardly accomplish big goals. It's sad really. But considering that I managed to maintain a blog for 5 years? Maybe not that bad. ;)

If you do not know my old blog it's fine, old stories already. I stopped blogging for a year till now, and here I am again yey ;D

No more long posts and grandmother stories I promise.
Short and sweet, like now.

Ciao!

Jo

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